Beautifully Chaotic Minds
by Angel-kohai
Summary: The mind is a strangely, beautiful yet chaotic place. Things can run wild, and things can get ugly. Things may seem crude or sound downright depressing... yet you'll still take a look at it because it's probably something you've never seen before and you've a morbid curiosity to sate too, don't you? [Rated M]
1. Chapter One

**I'm Fucked Up, But I'm Still Taking Responsibility**

* * *

I stared intently into the curious dark green orbs staring right back at me. Their owner, a small magenta hedgehog, barely the size of my arm, then tilted its head slightly. In that oddly cute way their mother always did. Who, currently as of watching me, was doing the very same oddly cute thing, staring at me as well.

"Bah-dah?"

I marveled at the way my heart… _melted _at the sound emitted from the creature alone.

"I- I know this is really sudden… and you weren't expecting to come back to this."

My attention turned to the older pink hedgehog, lighter in shade, now sporting darker fur around her gorgeous jades. Eyes as beautiful as the day I left. Regardless of how tired she appeared outwardly, she practically glowed. Absolutely radiant.

I cleared my throat. "No, I suppose not," I replied slowly, trying to keep my voice level. My mind was reeling, trying to comprehend that the child before me was mine. Their eyes never left my figure. I hated being scrutinized under someone's gaze but this strangely didn't bother me at all. "When?"

"It's been about two months. S-Since her birth, I mean," the woman stuttered. The child was female, duly noted.

I then attempted to do the math mentally. Working at G.U.N did have its disadvantages of random mission dispatches, but long ones were rarely given to me. However unfortunate, the most recent lasted a good seven months. Seven months of mostly recon and hiding away out of sight, basically falling off the grid. I had no contact from the outside world, not even from my colleague and partner, Rouge. She was off somewhere not that far away, but allowed to communicate home; mainly to HQ. Surely she should have known, found out, or pried until she got this piece of information and relayed it to me. The two of them were friendly enough for it to have come up. But I know that pregnancy lasts a typical nine months, so what the hell was I missing here?

"You didn't _look_ pregnant during, _ahem_, that."

The pink woman blushed, knowing exactly what I was referencing, "I didn't know until I was two, almost three months along. No symptoms, or any noticeable ones that could have tipped me off. Just happened to go the doctor's for something completely unrelated… and I didn't start feeling it until the halfway point really."

"Amy…"

I briefly glanced at the little girl, tightly holding onto her mother's shirt — and she either didn't notice or hardly cared that it was starting to expose her — but the small girl seemed to be inching her way towards me.

I blinked, telling myself I was just imagining things.

The sakura heroine shook her head, "I know, Shadow. I should have told you and, I swear to _Chaos,_ I was going to before you told me about the mission! It threw me off guard, and we got a little, uhm, distracted—"

The smaller pinkette started to babble nonsense randomly, and again my gaze returned to her. The tiny hand that was free stretched in my direction, lacking coordination as it simply waved about. Amy tried to readjust her, but her face screwed up in what I could only interpret as annoyance and anger.

She whimpered and whined.

The whining got louder.

I wasn't prepared for the soft wailing that followed suit.

My ears laid against my head, unfamiliar yet still having knowledge of such a noise. Only, the kids of the civilians of places I had to visit never stirred any kind of emotion in me. Not strong ones, anyway. What I felt right now was an intense pull; a want, _a need_, to reach out and hold her. To calm her, to whisper to her; something, _anything_.

"She seems really interested in me," I said, raising my voice slightly over the crying. "Does she understand who…?"

"I've shown her pictures ever since her eyes opened," she paused, bouncing the child and her cheeks grew brighter, "I… I used to talk to her. When she was still in the womb, about who you were. As silly as it may sound, it was the only way to stop her all night kidney kicking. Especially in the third trimester, oh jeez." Her eyes crinkled, like they always did when she was about to laugh but it didn't come. Her face instead furrowed in anxiety and motherly worry.

She's grown so much in such a short time.

That's partly my fault.

"Can I?"

Jades flew up, wide in shock I believe. I was a bit out of touch when it came to reading her. "Y-You want to hold her?"

"If I may. She seems restless." That and I wanted this swelling feeling of my own anxiety to go away. I detest whining and crying but the woman in front of me was one of the few that brought out urges to find a way to make it cease. Her—_our_, daughter could now be added to that handful of people.

Amy bit her lip, the same way she did when she was nervous or contemplating something. Sometimes when she was playing coy…

I immediately shook the thoughts away and focused on the task at hand.

Reluctantly, she unfurled the child from the crook of her neck and proceeded to tell me the best way to wrap her in my arms. Added weight in them wasn't foreign, but the sensation was certainly new. Somewhere between the exchange, the small girl piped down and resumed staring at me. Her tiny hands, both now free, wiggling around and she kicked her right foot occasionally. Coincidentally, I have a strange preference for my right side when it comes to most things, particularly fighting. Without realizing I had done it, I tilted my head and she was quick to mimic that.

"Bah-dah!" she squealed, and she… by the gods, she _smiled._ Toothless and slobbery, but unmistakably a smile. At me; a smile at me, and my heart skipped a few beats. It's been seven months since it's done that.

"I believe she's recognized you," the older pinkette stepped closer, closing the distance that had been between us. A metaphor, I guess you'd call it. "How… how do you feel?"

I knew why she was asking. We had talked about this very thing before my departure, not exactly with the intention of it actually happening. I wasn't entirely sure I was able to help conceive a kid then. I have alien blood, alien DNA in my system. A mixture of that and Mobian DNA within myself _mixing_ with another organic Mobian being didn't seem very likely to happen. Not without dire consequences if it succeeded, and complications that was sure to come with it.

Besides that, should everything be normal, there was also how I would _truly _feel.

To be a father.

Children sounded so off putting by the countless other parents I'd pass by, dragging their screaming offspring home. Complaints about lack of sleep, getting them back and forth to school, stability in their lives, the many dangers of an ever evolving world, diseases they carried and could catch so quickly. They all made it look exhausting, yet somehow their eyes still shone with affection, pride, and adoration for the brats. I never understood it myself…

Amy did somehow, gushing about having her own one day.

While it was a trivial matter to me, I found it endearing to watch that longing yet loving look in her eyes as she went on about that one day. Confusingly weird, to imagine a person falling in love with someone who didn't exist.

A sudden wetness on my thumb brought me back to reality and my gaze softened upon landing on the girl in arms. My tendency to space off made me unaware of the fact I was caressing her face and she had caught the appendage in her mouth. Her fingers had a surprisingly strong grip on the palm of my hand.

I don't think the concept was as weird as I thought it to be.

"What is her name?"

_Chaos, I missed the way her eyes sparkled when she was happy._

"Jewel."

"_Jewel,"_ I repeated; my voice, breathless.

She perked up at the sound of her name, and those curious dark green eyes, similar to the ones I adored on her mother, also ignited with light like that of a thousand fireworks. The unbelievable cuteness of this bundle I held was suddenly too much. Overwhelming and to be quite honest, suffocating.

_Why did I feel like I wanted to hurl?_

I carefully transferred her back to Amy's arms, having an inkling I just might. Jewel finally looked content to be there, having satisfied her whims. She reached up and pet her mother's chin, "Ah-ah?"

The sakura female giggled quietly, resting her forehead against the child's. Our child. "Yes, I think it's time for 'ah-ah' too." She looked up at me, a blush returning once more. "I have to feed her now."

"I- I can help?" I found myself saying. Unlike myself, but one second I'm nauseated, and the next some kind of instinct is pushing me to be close to them. Something primal, I'm sure. Perhaps this flipping of my stomach were those 'butterflies' Amy spoke of on many occasions.

I hated it.

The heroine laughed louder this time, accompanied by the adorable eye crinkle. "No, Shadow, you can't. Not unless you start spouting milk from your pecs."

Embarrassed as I felt, my face remained passive. Of course I knew newborns breastfeed.

"Should I leave?"

Panic ran across jade pools, "Y-You don't have to. I just got you back…"

I didn't let out the chuckle on the tip of my tongue, I don't know why. However, I did let the corner of my lip quirk up a bit into the ghost of a smirk. "That is true. I've also seen all there is to see." It grew upon the woman squirming in her spot, as she does when she's… _ugh._

_Later, you perverted asshole._

"You haven't changed a bit."

On the contrary, Rose, I believe I have. I've never been a father before.

* * *

Night soon approached.

I sat in her room while she put _our_ daughter to sleep, analyzing all the new objects. A baby camera was set up on her bedside table, although Jewel's room is the very next door down. Baby toys scattered on the floor here and there, most put away in a colorful chest in the corner near the entrance of the en suite bathroom. A box rested in front of her closet labeled 'Maternity'. I assumed it contained clothing she wore during her pregnancy. For some reason, the already large collection of baby clothing wasn't shocking.

My eyes came to rest at a picture of the two pink hedgehogs. Then another that was clearly a photoshoot, with the two dressed in 'mommy-daughter' outfits, as Rouge told me. One more, but I scowled.

_Faker_ was in the last one. His slender arm wrapped around her shoulders while she held _our_ child, who didn't look the least bit interested and was probably falling asleep. I don't understand why my heart… squeezed, and ached and pulled the longer I stared at his stupid face.

I suddenly started to recall every single moment that led up to this being possible.

She came to me in the middle of a rainy night, in the heat of the moment — or in a lapse of judgement, I still can't tell — and everything happened in a blur.

She vented. To be fair, she usually did, mostly while drunk as a skunk. She was noticeably sober this time though. She let out her frustrations, something about being tired of life in general. Next, like clockwork, came her love life, or lack thereof at that particular moment.

I remember not being able to give a shit. I hated romance. Still do, with all honesty.

_She_ changed that.

Slightly. Not wholeheartedly.

Don't know when or why or how but catching myself _wanting_ her attention, and only hers. That was hard to come to terms with. It became harder while the urge to be closer to her grew continuously the longer I allowed her in my presence.

The words she said to me that night ultimately shifted something in me.

* * *

"_People can do funny things for love, y'know. Love at first sight is the nastiest thing I've had the pleasure of knowing because one minute you're calm. Then you lay eyes on them, and you're planning your wedding before you've spoken to one another. And I thought I loved the chase but sometimes I wanted to _slow down_ and enjoy life with...someone. Recently, I've been thinking._

_I know for a fact that you can't chase what doesn't want to be caught forever… but I just want to feel loved. In whatever way that has to be."_

Amy's eyes bore into mine when she asked, _"Would you let me catch you?"_

* * *

Like a fool, I asked her what she meant when it was damn obvious what she meant. She wanted love, after all.

Before that night, I repeatedly told myself that I wasn't attracted to her in that way. I simply liked her company more than most people. I liked her company all the time. Every single fucking time I was with her. There's only so much you can do when the one you want, wants someone else. I told myself, she's all talk. She would never actually see me; she was blinded, she saw blue in every breeze. She's been after him for forever, and I was merely a mismatched piece of the puzzle. I did not fit into the bigger picture.

I still believed myself once she was atop me, and the pure, raw _lust_ in her eyes burned their image in my head. Her relationship with Sonic then was rocky as the azure wind himself was conflicted on whether or not he was willing to be caught.

They were off, he was gone, and she was horny.

That flame of hers was unsurprisingly contagious and it escalated from there. Next thing you know, once turned into twice, and it became our dirty little secret once it happened a multitude of times in the span of a couple months while Sonic was off doing Chaos knows what. Out of the few things I enjoy, _that_ at the most random of times was exhilarating and exotic. It felt amazing to know I got to have and _take _something the idiot neglected.

Had she manipulated me into taking her? Perhaps, but I consented to it just as much _and as often_ as she did.

Was it bad we hid our affair? Depends on who you ask, really. The only person she wanted to care was running carelessly through fields while his on-again-off-again plaything was getting fucked senseless by another dude. Repeatedly.

So, why am I staring at the smug face of a bastard who thinks he's on top of the world near _my_ family?

The door creaked open like it usually does, alerting me of the entering petite figure. It closed with a soft click, making my ears flinch at the quietness. There were no more unintelligible babbling, cooing, squeals, or cries. I focused on her breathing and my own as we stared at each other.

Nothing was said.

Just breathing until—

Like water rushing forth from a broken dam, she crashed into me, arms enveloping me in a bone crushing embrace. Plump lips landed on a majority of my face, making me close my eyes and I groan unintentionally as she planted herself in my lap. Grinding a little, in a way that still drove me crazy. I grasped her hips, hips that seemed to have gotten fuller. A welcome change, for sure. When she lifted herself to catch her breath, those gorgeous jade pools swirled with so many emotions I couldn't decipher as she bit her lip.

"Shadow…"

_Is she being coy, or is she nervous?_

"Yes, Rose."

She shivered, causing a domino effect, as I in turned shivered, too. Gods, it took every fiber in my body to not skip the talking and go straight to what I originally had plans on doing upon my arrival earlier.

I felt guilty, having came to get what I was deprived of for seven months and not to… catch up with her. She carried my kid for nine months, and for a month or two, I was still messing around with her as she began to, without realizing it.

For fuck's sake.

I feel nauseated again.

"I've missed you so much," Amy spoke barely above a whisper.

I swallowed hard, hoping the rising bile went back down. "And I, you."

Her ears perked up, probably not used to my honesty when it came to expressing feelings. "R-Really? You thought about me while you were gone?"

I leaned back on my hands, looking past her to that damned picture. "I will not lie, yes. Even if things weren't… aren't official between us."

Longer, sakura quills nearly smacked me in the face when she violently turned towards the accursed image I was glaring at. As if reading her mind, before she could bolt, her movement met resistance as I gripped her waist with one hand, the other turning her head back towards me. Not in a sexual way, but maybe it was a bit possessive. A message to that face as if he were here in person.

"Why?"

"I've moved on, you know that."

"Asides from the fact that we have a child, how could you convince me of this? He's posing with you like _he_ is her father. He is not."

"He just wanted a picture with me, for old times' sake. He's been back for two weeks. He didn't expect me to have Jewel but embraced her all the same. E-Even when I told him, she wasn't his…"

She took the raising of my eyebrow as a silent question and continued.

"I told him. About everything. He was pissed off at first. Then I reminded him that we were broken up whenever I — _cough_, met up — with you and I guess he realized that his not being there is what ultimately drove us apart. So we agreed to end it. Officially, and completely. And I waited for you to come back."

Amy looked down, her bangs now wild and outgrown enough to cover the entirety of her eyes. It then occurred to me how selfish I was right now.

None of this would have been a thing had he not disappeared as often as he did and treated her the way he did. He wasn't physically abusive, sure, but emotionally toying with her and stringing her along when in reality he knew he didn't want something serious was wrong. Probably going far enough to point the blame on _her_, to protect that huge, fragile ego of his.

Yet, here I was accusing her, too.

I feel like I'm not better in that case. Hell, I know I'm not. Our relationship was beyond complicated — and it very much still is. Friends with benefits rung a bell, courtesy of an albino bat, to more accurately describe what we were. Or rather, friends with an added bonus now.

She was young. Far too young, and we got careless in our many heat of the moments.

I sighed.

_What the hell am I doing?_

"I have always dreamed of this moment. Having kids," she spoke up suddenly, voice carrying the sadness from before. My silence must have spurred her on. Her head thumped against my bare chest and clutched the fur there. "For the longest time, I told anyone who would listen the father was always going to be Sonic."

I nearly pushed her off when she squeezed me tightly, her superhuman strength creating a vice like grip.

"But when I found out I was pregnant with _your_ child, all of that was tossed out the window. I was getting the kid, but the father wasn't Sonic and when I was about to tell you, an odd sense of… relief filled me knowing that it wasn't his.

Deep down, I know he wouldn't — probably still doesn't — want them because he's the wind. 'He likes to be free to move whenever', as he put it. Raising a child didn't fit into his agenda of adventuring and a carefree life. Although we didn't plan for her, Jewel is the best thing that's ever happened to me besides coming to realize that I'm _okay_ with you being her father."

With difficulty, I interrupted her monologue. "How could you be? I distinctly remember you saying you wanted one out of love."

"I did…"

"Would you call what we had, love?"

Jades looked up again, brimming with tears. "Don't get me wrong, Rose. I adore you, truly. I have for some time and I still do," I wiped away the first tear that fell from her eye, "But is this really what you want? I hardly deserve you, or her for that matter. You can't deny we used each other."

"Does it have to be put that way? I'll admit it was… spontaneous, a lot of the time, yes. However, you still came back to me as soon you came home—!"

"To fuck you."

The smile that was slowly beginning to form faded at my blunt words, her eyes becoming dark. "I meant nothing to you?"

"I wouldn't say that."

"Am I _nothing_ to you?"

I growled, "_No,_ you are something. You are the mother of my Chaos damned child all because we couldn't remember a simple condom."

She abruptly stood up and walked over to the dresser where the pictures were. To my surprise, she didn't explode. On the verge? She appeared too calm. Carefully, as if it would disintegrate by her touch, the sakura woman rubbed her fingers along the glass of the dressier photo.

Amy let out a shaky breath. "I don't regret her."

"Were you expecting me to?"

Amy scoffed, setting the frame down and glared at me with such an intensity, I nearly felt a need to immediately comfort her and tell her what she wanted— what _I think_ she might want to hear. I knew it would only get me into deeper shit than I was already in and decided against it.

"No, I expect you to stop thinking with your dick for a Chaos damned second and actually reflect on something other than you and _your_ needs!"

Something within me broke under her powerful stare.

I wanted to cope with the fact that I was a father. Really, I did.

I want to like the girl; how could I not when she's an almost perfect copy of the two of us combined? Jewel wasn't the epitome of perfection like I was created to be but she was still flawless because _we_ made her. She had darker undertones that dulled yet added a subdued brightness to the shades of Amy's fur and eyes, my preference of the right side, her bubbliness, my inquisitiveness, her— well, shit, _literally every single fucking thing I loved about this woman._

Yes.

Love.

All of her quirks, her ticks, her mannerisms. I had every one engraved in my memory, because to me, whether I wanted to admit or not, it was always more than a fling. More than continuous one night stands. More than friends with benefits. Much more; so, so much more and…

I stood.

She drives me utterly insane, but it made me feel alive — it felt _amazing_ to feel alive — and I never knew what to do with myself besides touching her, letting her touch me, and satisfying each other until the next urge came along. Not once did I think to ask her what _she_ wanted, did I? It was always me because I was suffering. I didn't care because I was suffering... with all the new emotions she instilled within me.

Oh gods.

My breathing grew heavy.

Her glare softened and she took a hesitant step towards me. I shook my head adamantly and she backed off. Instead, I closed the distance myself, scooping her up in my arms, and setting her down on her own bed. I kneeled at her feet and for once, allowed myself to feel vulnerable.

Who the hell am I kidding?

_I'm so fucking weak for Amy Rose that I'm putting my title as Ultimate Lifeform to shame._

The heroine gasped quietly when I grabbed her hands and kissed them. I was never gentle in our times together; I was rough. Rough because I was frustrated not knowing what to do with the fact that I loved her and I was simply a tool while Sonic was away. I used her back, used her to fulfill all those fantasies I started having once it all started.

No, they had been there before. Even when she was pining for the blur.

Chaos, when did I become so soft for this female? _When?_

Amy wrestled her hand out mine and rested it on the top of my head, softly scratching behind my right ear the way I secretly despised felt so good. I couldn't look her in the eye. If I did, I'd say something stupid. Like I already haven't, but maybe so ridiculous that she'd reconsider me being Jewel's father. Sonic seemed pretty okay looking in that spot that was supposed to be _mine_, dammit.

"Fuck," I whimpered.

I actually whimpered…

_I'm so pathetic._

Another hand caressed my cheek, stroking it lovingly. Would I burst into flames from having a being as holy and divine as she touch nothing but my sin riddled skin? "Shadow, look at me." Even her voice is that of an angel's.

"No."

"_Shadow."_

"..."

A tsk. A sigh.

"Fine, I'll come to you."

My eyes snapped open just as she tackled me to the floor, much like how one of our little moments started. She straddled me, pinning my arms to either of my sides, knowing full well that I could easily overpower her but I didn't want to. All she had to do was stare into my soul.

Crimson gave way to what I really felt inside, the torment I felt.

Torn between wanting to be with her, be with our daughter, to be a family or simply casting her—_them_, aside. For the longest time, I always told myself that I needed no one. After Maria, I knew I couldn't afford another heartbreak. I couldn't afford getting attached all over again, but I did. I got attached to her, and in turn it seems she latched on to me and… well, here we are. In this moment. Because who could have foresaw that I would ever in my wildest dreams land the most perfect woman on this dreadful planet?

…and that we'd make a life so precious, I couldn't stand to let my sullied hands touch her innocence?

That little something that broke? It shattered into pieces.

I was scared, dammit.

I _am _scared.

_Damn it all to hell! I'm scared!_

Like a waterfall, it all came gushing out before I could even think to hold my tongue.

"I don't know the first thing about being a father. I barely understand what love is. I don't know if I'm capable of it, if that's even what I feel right now. For you. For her. I don't want Sonic to have you ever again, I never did. Maybe that's why I chose not to use it, in hopes of ruining what you had. He wouldn't have wanted you if you carried someone else's child.

At least, I thought. Maybe I really did forget. But now that she exists, that girl in there scares me beyond belief and what I feel for you does too. I don't know if I can do it, Amy. I really don't."

Without meaning to, tears had escaped my once stone cold facade and my heart was thundering, blood pounding in my ears.

She just lied down on my chest, and listened to me spill everything I had bottled up for the past seven months and those three or four months prior. Told her about everything I noticed she did, everything I remembered about her. Her allergy to peanuts and pollen; her love-hate relationship with spring; her quirks, her ticks, her mannerisms.

_Every single fucking thing I LOVED about her_ and nobody else but her.

And when I was done, she let me sit up and held my face firmly in her grasp not letting me look away.

"Shadow the Hedgehog, you need to give yourself a lot more credit than you do."

"Why?"

She giggled, though sad. "Honestly, you say you don't deserve me but it seems it's the other way 'round."

"It's not."

"Oh but it is." The sakura female shifted, leaning in close, her voice soft but oozing love and power. "I would be the luckiest person on Mobius to have you here with me raising her. I don't deserve someone as devoted to me as you are. I thought I was obsessive for having learned everything I could about Sonic yet here you are, doing the same. It's not fair it took meaningful meaningless sex for us to come to this conclusion. Am I stupid to say that I would do it a thousand times more if it meant I got to sit here with you, like this, and no one else?

I wanted to hate you, because I knew I would never have had the heart to have gotten rid of her. But she was mine. She was yours. She was _ours_ and I loved that we made something so beautiful. It took the entire course of my pregnancy to realize I fucking loved you too, you… you! _It's not fair!"_

Now she was crying openly. Sobbing.

Without a word, I pulled her in for the most desperately passionate kiss I could muster up in that moment and poured all that I had into it. She didn't fight it. She returned it tenfold, and for a second it was almost like normal. Like we hadn't just fought over anything, and it felt amazing and beautifully saddening.

The most precious treasure in the world, sitting here on my lap, being treated so roughly by some asshole who loved her so much he didn't know what to do with himself. The irony of it all makes me want to laugh. I don't.

I pulled away, panting hard, "I don't regret a _damn _thing I did, to you or otherwise," I growled, gripping her fuller hips harshly. She moaned, though it wasn't as loud as I'd like. I knew why.

"I love you. Fuck, I love you so much it actually _hurts_. What the hell have you done me?"

Maybe that's the reason I was precipitous. I subconsciously wanted her to feel how much loving her hurt me by hurting her pleasurably. All while having to sit idly, letting her chase the wind that didn't want to be caught. Asking me if I'd let her catch me was the most dangerous thing she could have done that night, and she did. I'd let her catch me whenever and however she wanted. I didn't care because it was her.

It was so easy to ravish her because I wanted it so badly. The worst and best thing she did was give me consent to do it. Chaos, did I. Like a drug, one time and I was immediately hooked. Although, I might have taken the bait and drowned in her from the very beginning.

The sakura flower nipped at my face, my lips, my neck, before returning to kissing me ferociously. She parted, heaving, "I don't know, but I'm very glad I did it." Those gorgeous jade orbs peered at me through eyelashes, through wild and overgrown bangs, with so much written in them.

"Shadow…"

"Yes, my Rose."

She shuddered, nuzzling underneath my chin. Lithe fingers dancing rhythmic patterns in my fur in a deadly intoxicating way. "I want you. Please."

The heat died down a bit, lifting the haze from my mind. "You just had a baby, Rose. I don't—"

A hand to my mouth shushed me, "You won't. Maybe a little but after childbirth, honestly no pain can compare," she giggled huskily. "Even then, we can take it slow. Get to know each other again."

My eyes flickered to the door. "Jewel." My first night of being a father and I was sitting here having a heavy petting session with the mother of my daughter with said female only a room away. _On the fucking floor_, no less. Amy gets loud. By Chaos, I _loved_ when she was, but a baby would not.

Should I feel disgusted? I do.

A little.

_I really wanted her too._

She sighed, "Please, Shadow…"

I threw a lustful glare at her curiously. "Two months and your libido is already back full force, eh?"

"If you want to get technical, it's nearing three."

I carefully picked her up, feeling a need to be especially gentle and loving. Setting her back on the bed, taking up my previous spot, kneeling. She cradled my head in her lap, continuing to swirl into my crimson-streaked fur. I shuddered, vulnerable and content. I gripped her left thigh with my right hand, pushing it apart from the other, not removing my head from it.

"We stop if she cries."

"Of course."

"I mean it."

"Look at you, already in dad mode." She quelled my glare with a few pats behind the ear. "We… we're going to be okay right?"

"As in?"

"You want this? Us? A-a family?"

"Amy Rose, I have never wanted anything as much as I've wanted you. _Our daughter_ is certainly not going to be an exception," I said in a low tone but the bass in my voice made her sigh happily.

"Are we…?"

"Whatever you want us to be, I will make it happen. You won't have to worry about anything as long as the two of you continue to exist in my life."

My hand started massaging the silky fur of her leg, my breaths quickening. I kissed the one my head rested on. "And if you must worry about anything… worry about whether or not she wakes in the middle of what I'm about to do to you."

I swear I felt electricity spark between us, or perhaps that was just the Chaos energy lurking in my veins responding in kind to my fervor. Not another word was needed to be said as I began something familiar but entirely new.

I think… I think I like this.

* * *

**In case you now have a case of 'WTF did I just watch/read' syndrome, allow me to explain. I've gotten to the point where I want to experiment with my writing; more mature, crude, and overall just weird things. I have ideas for a lot of different pairings other than Shadow and Amy (though there will be a lot of these two regardless, I'm sure; I can't help myself). Rather than having to keep uploading individual one-shots; Ima put 'em all in one place.**

**This is one of the more 'lighthearted' pieces I have planned. The next one was actually started alongside this. And it's darker. Expect formatting throughout this ridiculous concept of a 'story' to get weirder, and let's be honest, all over the place and messy. I have a remake of an old story in the makes as well, so there's also that. Soon...ish.**


	2. Chapter Two

**Let Mommy Go, Sweetheart**

* * *

"Hun… you've got to stop…"

Honeyed words fell on deaf ears, despite the closeness of ragged breaths breezing into them. His grunts, the only thing my huge ears could focus on besides the agonizing moans and wails of innocents in the streets. He moved flawlessly, without hesitation, calculated and precise. His hands gripped me to his muscular frame, like a child not wanting to let go of its favorite toy.

But I'm tired, and really want to rest.

"Shadow, put me down. Please."

"I will not."

"Shadow—"

"I am not, I will not, Rouge."

I sighed, trying and failing to control my breathing. It was getting incredibly harder to do so. This breathing thing. My lungs apparently didn't want to do their job anymore. I'm still alive, you useless fucks. Barely, but… shit.

The silence between us was so thick, a battle axe wouldn't have been able to penetrate it. Even if the strongest creature known to man was yielding it; and that creature was carrying me so delicately through these desolate streets. It was like we were in our own little bubble of safety. If you could overlook the fact that everything else was a symphony of terror, horror, and murder, that is.

I find it funny that of all the things to happen, this felt like an utterly shitty way to go. Dying slowly to a bomb was never my first choice of death. Could have sworn I'd get caught in some elaborate trap surrounding a nice set of jewels. Sliced to bits with security lasers guarding top secret information, perhaps. Or, hell, maybe even losing to an army of Robotnik's tacky robots! Who'd have imagined the mad scientist could get creative and make a weapon of mass destruction? Follow in his grandfather's footsteps, but in the most modern way he could think of. _Absolute_ destruction; not some squishy thing that'd have its own feelings and turn against you.

I suppose it was the easy way to victory. The most logical way to wipe out the one thing in his way to get what he wanted.

Kill the pests with fire.

Quite literally; most buildings — and I'm quite sure I just saw something on fire that was _moving_, a Mobian or human no doubt — were engulfed in an inferno. Like a scene straight out of hell.

Thought it'd be a few years before I saw it with my own eyes.

A particular bump jostled me and my mouth opened to scream without wanting to, causing the hedgehog holding me to halt. Only, that made the pain worse, as the action nearly propelled me forward had he not had a tight grip on me. Damn man was giving me whiplash. His probing crimson eyes scanned me, everything and everywhere.

The few tentative steps forward told me that once he was done assessing the 'damage', he'd take off at an even faster pace.

Enough was enough.

I grit my teeth, my lungs protesting properly functioning. "Chaos dammit, Shadow, put me the fuck down!"

"But—"

"_Now."_

He immediately obeyed like a kid getting ready to be scolded by mother. He kneeled, depositing me in a more comfortable looking pile of rubble, nothing too sharp to cut. Although my body hates me at the moment, I forced myself to sit up and fluttered my broken, tattered wings. I winced. It hurt. I sighed and looked around at the carnage.

_It was so bad._

"We need to keep going."

I rolled my eyes, surprisingly able to do so with one swollen shut. "I want to rest. I'm tired."

The ebony hedgehog before me had wild, uncontrollable eyes and ears as he was alert for anything to pop off at any second. He was always hypersensitive to his surroundings, but never this intensely so. I almost feel bad for the poor guy.

"You can rest when we get somewhere safe. We need to _go._"

"There is no more 'we', hun. I'm finished," I solemnly say.

"Don't say that."

I grasped his head in my bloody hands, not caring that the liquid stained his muzzle and he didn't either. I hoped whatever life that remained in my turquoise irises could convey to this stubborn boy that I was so, so tired. "Shadow… you know I admire your strength but you can't get me through this with sheer willpower."

"I can damn well try," he growled.

"You can not, and will not move me from this spot Shadow the Hedgehog or so help me I will haunt you in my afterlife."

His breath hitched. Sometimes he needed a little tough love to get through that thick skull of his. Speaking so many words passionately took a lot out of me though, my sides ached. It was probably the thin pole that stuck out of me. Chaos, this was so bad. Ugh.

I've never seen him look so broken, the way he did now. He must have been torn between defying me or listening for once in his life to someone other than himself.

"Rouge…"

"I know, hun… but I trust you can stop that asshole on your own. Ya know, without the rest of us."

"You and I both know that is not true."

I smiled, despite the taste of iron in my mouth, "Why wouldn't it be? You're the Ultimate motherfucking Lifeform. You can do a lot."

He didn't find my joke amusing in the slightest. Tch. Why so serious? "Rouge, stop this nonsense and let me help you."

I leaned back, letting go of his handsome face, starting to feel cozy in my little mountain of debris. Yeah, I can happily die here. I think. "You'd help a lot more if you'd just let me go already, dear."

"You are no quitter. And you know I am not."

"I'm not asking you to _quit._ I'm asking you to let me die peacefully. Won't you grant a dying girl her last wish?"

Shadow growled up something fierce, crimson set ablaze. "Will you stop talking like that?! You are not—"

"Shadow, shut the hell up and look at me!" I shrieked, despite the agony it caused. "Look around you! Literally everything has gone to shit; there's a piece of glass in my damned eye, but even I can see that this is fucked, and you know it."

He did exactly that. He glanced to his right, and then to his left. Suddenly I was welcoming his heavy head into my uncontrollably spasming bosom as he crashed to the street next to me. I moved him carefully so he didn't get nicked by anything. Lest it be sticking out of me or the ground. I gulped, nothing but blood on my taste buds, and softly pet his quivering quills. For the first time in a while, I heard a horse sob reach my giant ears.

This is new. He doesn't cry often, and certainly not over me.

I might have been too harsh…

"W-Why?" he stammered.

"Why what, hun?"

"Why does it always happen like this? Why am I always the last one standing?"

Well sweet Chaos, don't make me cry right before all my organs give out on me, you bastard. It's at times like this that I recall his _actual_ age; not his biological or physical age, but the mental one. An old man in years, outwardly a fine, young adult, but inside...just a poor child who never got to properly grow up. He merely adapted to the world around him, but he was as vulnerable as an eight year old in some of his worst times. And I was the mother figure he clung to throughout, because he didn't have anyone else to go to. No one he truly trusted as much as he did me.

I can't help but feel guilty that I have to leave him so soon.

Children do outlive their parents, though…

I continued to stroke his sharp quills, knowing the feeling of each of them cutting into my glove-less hand helped me remember I was still living. I wanted to hold on just as much as he did, but I do believe I'm starting to lose feeling in my limbs. Those mangy legs of mine were twisted grotesquely, just about as useless as my fucking lungs. Arms crossed with many cuts and gashes, my torso pierced by the broken ribs inside. I want to keep living for you, Shadow but I'm at my limit.

_When did I start to care about you so much, kid?_

I leaned into him, trying to keep the tears at bay, "I- I don't know. I mean, there's not a lot that _can_ kill you ya know." I didn't like the way he looked at the pole sticking out my side. "Don't you fucking dare, you lunatic."

"It'd be quick," he spoke. I smacked him away as he tried to bring himself closer to impale himself. I was weak, and he knew this. He wrestled with me, desperate, but I wouldn't relent. _I couldn't._ I slapped him square across the face as hard as I could.

"Have you lost your Chaos-damned mind?"

"Quite frankly, yes."

I slapped him again, more upset than I have been in my two decades of life. "Get a grip, boy! This isn't you!"

He held his face in shock, really like a child who'd been betrayed by their mother. _I'm so sorry, sweetheart but I have to go._ _I can't play mommy anymore._ The first droplet of water that escaped his crimson pools had me drowning in my own. My heart was beating so erratically, like it would explode any minute. I think it might.

"Please don't leave me, Rouge…"

I pawed at my wet face, sniffling. "If it were my choice. Someone, somewhere is calling me home… and I'm not strong enough to resist it."

I can't feel my legs anymore. Am I still sitting on the ground?

"Tell them to go to hell! _I_ _need_ _you!"_ Shadow shouted.

The raw sound hurt my sensitive ears, but I think the ringing in them mostly muffled the noise. Like, the next words that I could barely see leaving his mouth merged into a high pitched buzzing and coherent comprehension was no longer a thing I could comprehend. Well, I guess it's about that time, huh?

He was standing now, pacing. Arms flailing and water streamed down his handsome face; I wanted to reach out and bring him back. To soothe him before I had no strength left to, but it's a little too late for that. My arms refused to listen to me.

"Sh-Shadow, hun, come here," I somehow say loud enough for him to hear.

Without hesitation, he was back to my side, holding me with such a sad scowl on his muzzle. I still can't hear a word you're saying, but just hear me out. "Sh. Shh. These big ole things are failing me, I just need to say this…"

He mouthed something, "_Okay."_ Hah. His voice was practically etched deep within my mind.

"Thank you, dear. I just want to tell you, one last time, that you're the Ultimate motherfucking Lifeform and you're _going _to get through this, okay? If not me, do it for yourself. And if you still want to argue, then do it for all the goody-two-shoes who also died in this mess. Don't let their death be in vain. R-Remember what Maria said? What Amy reminded you of?"

He nodded.

"You can give people a chance at happiness… but only if you choose. Make the choice and find that asshole, m-make him suffer."

"_Rouge."_ Look at him, still worried about the inevitable. You're so fucking precious.

I weakly shake my head, my lungs finally giving me the middle finger. Somehow, I was still crying. I swallowed the last of the blood I could taste, and I looked at him with as much determination and power I could manage. "You can do this. I may not have said it a lot… but I always believed in you, Shadow…"

Though blurry with tears, I could make out, _"I love you…"_

The last breath escaped me as I smiled and whispered, "I love you, too, kid."

* * *

I stood over her lifeless corpse for who knows how long, just staring at it. Her body was nothing but another unkempt creature added to the body count, almost unrecognizable were it not for those turquoise irises I wanted to blink.

They did not.

Carefully, I reached forward and closed them. They did not open back up. Hidden behind once snowy white lids. How could she look so pretty when she was dead? I held her hand, and leaned on her chest; it was not moving. I did not hear a heartbeat. The reality of me losing the one friend I thought I had set in.

I was alone.

Everyone was gone.

Sonic; he was caught in the initial blast along with his two-tailed fox brother. Robotnik wanted to make sure those two would not have a chance of surviving. He dropped the first bomb on the little workshop they lived in.

Amy; I had ran to her, once I heard it go off. I knew what was coming, but I was too slow to stop it. She had just come out of her home, cheeks tear-strained and terrified. I wanted to get her to someplace safe too. The next bomb dropped. All I could do was watch as time slowed, the countdown in my head winding down, and the fire that erupted burned her carcass to a crisp. The blaze brushed my fur when I tried to retreat last minute, singed it badly but I could not feel it.

She did not get the opportunity to scream.

Knuckles; all I know is that Angel Island crash landed somewhere in the city, like a meteor entering the atmosphere. I was told that it was reduced to a charred piece of rock. I could not feel the pull of the Master Emerald anymore.

The little rabbit and her… mother. They were among the few to escape the blast radius, but met their demise at the hands of the robots he unleashed to get any stragglers. Torn to shreds before my very eyes, in fact. Gore spilled everywhere. I think I actually felt sick at that point.

I had barely managed to find Rouge, already in her miserable state. She had been out shopping, when the building came down atop her. A pole in her side, her eye swollen shut around a large shard of glass, her legs resting in unnatural angles. She begged me to not pick her up, but I refused to let her die like the others.

I refused to let her go.

I had no one else. And a while ago, that's what I wanted. I wanted peace, solidarity, and not a thing to disturb me ever again. Now that I am forced to live in this hellscape the Doctor has created for me, I realize how foolish I was to have wished for such a thing.

She was my best friend. My… my _mother_ in a weird way.

I looked to her for guidance, she kept me on the straight path. A diamond in the rough, but to me, she was perfect. She was smart, she was cunning, she was pretty.

And she is gone.

She's gone.

She's gone, _she's gone, she's GONE. __**SHE'S FUCKING GONE!**_

She is gone and I never got the chance to actually tell her how important she was to me! How much I looked up to her! How much I relied on her! How she deserved all the galaxies within this cruel universe and all the stars with it… How I would lay down my very life if it meant her living another day in my stead. How… how…

I am going to _absolutely fucking_ _destroy_ Doctor Ivo Robotnik.

Or die trying.

I stood on shaky legs, glaring at the airship in the distance. My fists clenched, claws digging into my palms, but I did not care. I could not feel it. I breathed in, deep.

My inhibitor rings snapped off, hitting the concrete with _clinks_, already forgotten.

I exhaled, letting the dark aura take over.

_I'm so sorry mother, but I can't let you go. I can't play pretend anymore._

* * *

**Initially I ended it with Rouge's POV; then I decided to torture myself further by continuing it, all while listening to sad music to get me through this mess. Has the potential mother-son bond between these two been explored?**

**I mean, if not, sorry for putting the thought into your head because it had to leave mine.**


	3. Chapter Three

**CharacterIntermission_Amy . txt**

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Hi. My name is Amy Rose, and I'm an absolute piece of fucking trash.

No, really. I am. I mean, why else would just about the whole entire _world _hate my guts? These squishy insides did nothing to nobody, yet every sentient being on this planet avoids me like the plague!

It can't just be me… right?

The love of my life, my heart and soul, the reason I still continue to suffer through this game we call life(?) wouldn't even touch me with a fifty foot pole. Or in general. He'd rather bang a squirrel—

Oh, I'm sorry; Her _ROYAL FUCKING MAJESTY_ Queen Sally Acorn. The _chipmunk._ Do chipmunks even eat acorns?

So, yeah, you read that right. The queen of Knothole is my love rival. Queen. She ain't a princess anymore because _someone _had to go and marry _her_, instead of… me…

It's so unfair!

It can't just be me, right?

I mean, I've done good. I've fought evil. Why, the very 'evil' that tried to end the queen's life, in fact. I helped that blasted hedgehog beat that stupid fat scientist into the ground. Pretty sure I got a good hit or two in with my trusty Piko-Piko hammer. But I wasn't the one who got to walk out alive and receive money, fame, and a new wife- er, husband.

_Honestly at this point I may as well swing both ways, men seem to find me revolting apparently._

Anyway, where was I?

Oh right, I'm fucking garbage. And he makes me feel like garbage. Mobius and its inhabitants make me feel lesser than the dirt under a shoe trapped beneath a rotting dumpster. _One that's on fire!_

Seriously, they had the nerve to call me _childish._ They're the ones who ran around me in circles thinking I couldn't handle being told the one person I invested and devoted a majority of my whole life span to, was getting married to 'not-me' Sally Chaos-damned Acorn! Who's a chipmunk, by the way, not a squirrel.

…they were right, but fuck them anyway.

They could've still told me about the wedding. I didn't even get invited to the damn thing, the _least_ they could've done was friggin' tell me! No, "hey, we're engaged and happily in love" or "hey, Ames, sorry not sorry, but I'm crushing your dreams of ever having me and the perfect little family you planned since laying eyes on me!". No. Not a word from him, not from my 'friends'; hell, even my neighbor knew and I did _not_.

Radio silence.

Nada.

_Nothing._

And they had the audacity to expect me to roll over and accept it. I mean, if I really loved him, I should be able to let him go. Let him be happy with someone who makes him happy.

But that someone ain't me so I'll be damned if I don't raise a stink about it.

What are the odds of anybody finding this letter anyway? Person, you who's reading, I'm not crazy. I swear. I'm just in love and my love has no where to go besides this piece of paper I… found on a random desk.

My love doesn't want it.

My so-called friends don't want it.

I'm not exactly comfortable giving it to some stranger… unless it's a kid or something. Babies are pretty cute.

Speaking of, I'll never have any of those. Children. If you couldn't guess why, then you haven't been paying attention, have you.

Sonic the _motherfucking_ Hedgehog married Sally _Chaos-damned _Acorn.

_Can you imagine what kind of devil spawns a chipmunk and hedgehog will make?!_

I'm not specist by any means, but c'mon. That spells ugly in every sense of the word! Oh gods, a hybrid is very possible. Those _exist_.

.

.

.

.

Great, now I have to clean up my mess because I put that disgusting thought in my own head. Luckily, I missed the paper. I also missed the trash can entirely but I'm sure they won't mind it that much. It's not like they'll see it any time soon. Heh.

Well, besides the point, my hand is getting a bit tired now. It's not very logical to write an essay on your feelings right after straining your wrists. It takes a lot of power to swing my little mallet y'know.

I needed to make sure my problems stayed squashed.

After all, if I'm to be seen as merely a puny, insignificant ant, then I gotta put my all into ered— eradicating (?) the world; to burn with me.

Probably not the right spelling but you get the picture.

Sweet Chaos the smell in here is putrid.

It's gonna take forever to get the blood off my precious weapon if it dries...

Hey person, you who's reading this, tell me. What's your take on all this?

I mean, think about it. An overwhelming crush that you've had for _years _just suddenly up and goes for the other chick. You'd feel some type of way, too, wouldn't you? Like an uncontrollable rage that can only be satisfied with the blood of your enemies? You'd want to kill someone… like the little _someone_ who betrayed you…

It can't just be me.

Right.

Anyway, I better go dispose of their bodies before the smell alerts a guard. Although you'd be surprised at how easy it is to sneak into a palace at night.

All hail the King, baby.

...and the queen too I guess.

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**One may call this a parody. One may also call this writing a whole chapter all based on the opening line popping into your head at 10pm. Either way it goes, it exists now. I wanted to play around with formatting so, yeah.**


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